He just doesn’t understand the love I feel for all of you 😏
You’re not bothering me at all, love.
Literally the first night we hung out he told me about the situation with this girl. He didn’t get called in for questioning until we’d been together for about 10 months. He was arrested and charged around 13 months after we began dating and his “trial” (technically he pled out but for lack of a better word) lasted until he went to jail in April 2013, which was 15 months into our relationship.
I don’t even remember what went thru my head. I think I was really angry and confused and just in disbelief, especially once I learned the full story about this girl. At one point I wondered if sticking around thru this was even worth it, especially because he was facing 5 years, but obviously I did.
I can’t tell you what to do, how to feel, or what to think about this. Only you can decide whether this life is for you, whether your relationship is worth the wait or whether you need to move on with your life.
I can tell you that at times, this journey can be total hell, and at times you won’t remember why you’re doing this. That if you decide to stay with him, you will have days where you’re completely emotionally exhausted and feel like you can’t talk to him or anyone. That the look on his face when you visit him or the sound of his voice when you get that first phone call after a lockdown makes your heart melt and erases all doubts or sadness you might be feeling at the time. That the prison “wife” community on Tumblr is one of the best groups of women I’ve met, despite some of the cattiness and bullshit that goes on.
There are good parts and there are awful parts, and no one can tell you whether this life is for you or not. No amount of advice or experience will make this decision any easier because each case and every person is so unique and individual. At the end of the day only you know what is right for you and I can’t tell you that.
Nah no worries about venting, I get it.
J and I live together in my Mom’s house. I don’t see that it would really pose too much of an issue for you and your man, as long as you go into this transition with the knowledge that it’s going to be strange and you’re going to have to give a little time for adjustment on both your parts.
But like I said, being nervous and worried is totally normal. Its been a while, you’ve changed in that time apart and obviously so has he, and you don’t really know what to expect. It’s completely natural to feel like that and to need to get it off your chest. I definitely think you need to be honest with him (I’m pretty sure you said that you’d already talked to him about this) and don’t let things build up to the point where you explode or lose your shit.
I was tagged a while ago and kept forgetting to do this- sorry!
Birthday: May 16 1991
Favorite color: Black
Lucky number: 19
Talents: Blowjobs and baking
Last dream you remember: All I remember is there were some people I know
Can you juggle: Nah
Art/sports/both: Both I guess
Do you like writing: Sometimes
Do you like dancing: I dance all the time, despite the fact that I am AWFUL at it (hello white girl lack of rhythm)
Do you like singing: To myself I guess haha I’m also awful at that
Dream vacation: Somewhere tropical and warm, or Ireland/Scotland/Loch Ness
Dream guy/gal: Chris Pratt/Chris Evans/RDJ, ScarJo/JLaw/Aubrey Plaza
Dream wedding: On the beach or at an aquarium
Dream pet: SO MANY
Dream job: I dunno… Maybe teaching CSI/Forensics online, something that allows me to be free and travel
Favorite song: SO MANY
Last song you heard on the radio: Uhhh either Really Don’t Care or Something That We’re Not by Demi Lovato
Least favorite song: Blurred Lines
Least favorite album: Ehh
Least favorite artist: Robin Thicke and Mariah Carey
Hair colour: Dark
Eye colour: Blue or green
Taller/shorter: Taller is always nice
Biggest turn-off: Cockiness, arrogance, etc
Biggest turn-on: Funny, talented, outgoing
I can only speak from my personal experience, so just keep that in mind :)
Personally, I think that is really normal, especially since it’s been 2.5 years. People change a LOT in that time in normal circumstances, nevermind in a prison relationship type of situation. I don’t think it’s a bad thing that you’re concerned about it. Honestly, I feel like it’s the opposite- you still care about him and the relationship enough to want it to work and to be concerned about big changes that could potentially be detrimental to your relationship.
J and I are still working thru this. I’d love to tell you it’s easy to slip back into normal life, but I’m not about to lie and sugar coat shit on here. It’s pretty hard for us. Obviously it will all depend on what he has for charges, restrictions, probation/parole, etc. It’s harder for us because of all his restrictions- he can’t use a computer so I have to do all his job applications/health insurance/etc shit for him, he has to be home by 9 (which sucks because of the car situation and because we usually go out at night), he has the ankle bracelet and costs for that, etc. It’s a huge adjustment.
If you guys are honest with each other and realize that you can’t just immediately slip back into old habits, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Look at it as though you’re just starting to date again, but better- you already know most of the important stuff, it’s just the little, superficial things you’ll have to adjust to.
I live in the United States!